k  Little Darshika wails at the sight of the school bus “No, I will not go!” she screams. Akash’s mother has to wrest him out of her arms when she drops him at the nursery school gate. “Don’t go, ma” he pleads.
School phobia, school avoidance and school refusal describe an anxiety disorder in children who have an irrational, persistent fear of going to school. It commonly hits kids at some point or the other, and becomes an ordeal for parents.
School avoidance manifests in approximately 1-5 percent of school age children, usually between the ages of 5 to 11 years. Boys and girls are equally prone to school phobia, and socioeconomic differences don’t seem to play a role.
Symptoms
An older child who has difficulty being away from home indicates school phobia. This is different from separation anxiety that children aged 18 to 24 months have when they cling, cry or have temper tantrums upon separation from parents. It is also different from truancy, in which children avoid school because they are angry or bored, but don’t want to remain in close contact with the parent.
Children who are phobic are often insecure, sensitive, and unable to cope with their emotions. They show excessive fear, anxiety, undue temper and depression when told to go to school.
Most of these children also show some form of illness when forced to attend school. These physical complaints are often vague and non-specific, though in rare cases chronic symptoms including headaches, abdominal pain, nausea, or dizziness occur.
The children stay at home with the knowledge of their parents, who are helpless in the situation. They have poor attendance records due to prolonged absence. Symptoms occur mostly on school days, and are absent during weekends and vacations.
CausesWhile some children adapt well into a new environment, others don’t. For them school may turn into a source of anxiety and fear. Situations in the child’s environment may cause or worsen school phobia: - Illness, in the child or in the family.
- Divorce and separation, or bereavement in the family.
- Changes, including shifting home or school, new caretakers, or grandparents moving in or out.
- Arrival of a younger sibling.
- Caregiver issues, such as the mother resuming work, or a depressed or stressed parent.
- Prolonged absence from school due to illness, or vacations.
Certain factors related to school may cause school avoidance:
- Fear of failure.
- Teasing by other children.
- Anxiety over toileting in a public bathroom.
- Perceptions that the teacher or other personnel are "mean"
- Threats or physical harm (as from a school bully)
- Learning difficulties or disabilities
(Adapted from www.drpaul.com)
Dealing with school phobia
Find the source.
Most school-phobic children have difficulty talking about the source of their anxiety. It is up to the parents to try to figure out the source of the problem. These are questions you can ask to help you:
- Is there a bully whom your child is avoiding? (this may be a classmate, teacher or bus driver)
- What recent changes have affected your child’s life?
- Is your child lonely and without friends?
- Is school work taxing your child?
Act to reduce fear
Equip your child with coping skills to deal with the phobia and the reasons that developed fear in the first place. To do this:
- Make school fun: Prepare your child on what to expect from school. Share your memories of school and how you dealt with your own fears or challenges. Create interest for learning by reading stories from their text books.
- Reassure your child: Your child will feel secure by carrying a little bit of home, such as a family photo. You could also put a small “I love you” card in the tiffin box. Or give a hand drawn clock to explain when you will come back to take your child home.
- Don’t allow shirking: When your child stays home, don’t allow whiling time on TV or play. Instead insist on doing some school-work. This will help instill discipline so your child does not use the phobia as an excuse to avoid school.
- Teach life skills: Teach your child assertiveness to handle bullies, time management to cope with homework and social skills to make friends.
Take help
- Consult a doctor to rule out a medical problem.
- Get your child evaluated by a school counselor for a learning problem that may be behind your child’s avoidance of school.
- If school phobia has begun after a specific life change (divorce, death, relocation) arrange for your child to have counseling. This will help you understand school phobia and how to help your child.
Don’t blame yourself if your child is afraid of school. Instead, find out how you can best help your child.
Hvovi Bhagwagar is a psychotherapist and behavior skills specialist
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